Positive Body Image BACKFIRE

So I've just recently discovered that Wombat appears to mistakenly believe that Skinny jeans make you skinny - I came to this realisation just last week when he wasn't able to wear either of his two pairs of jeans and he became rather distraught about wearing track pants, even exclaiming to me - "Mummy! I don't want to wear track pants - they will make me look fat!"

(when I recounted this to my friend Amee she replied - "OH MY GOSH! He's a 16 yr old GIRL!!!")

Then,....on Friday night after soccer practise myself and all three boys were at the Supermarket and Wombat who was wearing his uniform short shorts was sitting in the shopping trolley. Looking down he saw that his thighs were consequently squished/spread and he cried out with much angst -
Wombat: Mummy!!! Look how fat my legs are!!
(Hmmmmm, positive body image enforcing I thought - here goes!)
Me: Your legs are NOT Fat Wombat! Your legs are MUSCULAR.
Wombat: Mummy - what does muscular mean?
Me: Your legs are full of muscles! Big and STRONG! Your legs are NOT Fat - they are MUSCULAR!
Wombat paused and thought for a second and then exclaimed with some excitement - Oh Mummy! Your legs are VERY muscular because they are HUGE!!!!
Me: Yep.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Classic Wombat

Scene: Grandma's Family Birthday Dinner, with the fam at Grandma and Grandad's.

Bear: Did you know that only ducks quack?
Adult (possibly Grandma): Ducks?
Bear: Yes, only Ducks (the females) quack and (Mallards) don't.
Wombat: And mushrooms do nothing!

Everyone (except for Wee Grandma aka Great Grandma who doesn't get it) instantly devolves into uncontrollable hysterics.

There weren't even any mushrooms in the dinner either - in case you were wondering.

Sleepy Head

A pictorial post of Wombat's various and random sleeping "spots" ie. places where he has randomly fallen asleep around the house - oft times literally "fallen" asleep : )

Just about to colour in his new colouring book zzzzz

Unposed - honestly just fell asleep on the floor like this zzzzzz

Nodded off whilst watching Phantom zzzzzz

Discovered just like this zzzzzzz

(just kidding!)

Collapsed on floor zzzzzzz

Dozed off on Mum zzzzzzz

About to draw at table zzzzzz

Fell asleep in little chair zzzzzzz

Fell asleep watching Sesame Street zzzzzzz

Why I NEED Mousse.

Arguably tight, "contained" and "tamed", tidy curls with mousse.

Curls all brushed out - resultant untamed frizz bomb.

A snippet of conversation - Wombat-style

Week before last Wombat was unwell - when I say unwell I actually mean he was well - but his asthma was acting up something chronic - nasty deep cough, wheazy as heck. So we kept him home pretty much the whole week. Whilst he was at home one of the Kindy pets - one of the rabbits - died and this week just gone Kindy acquired a brand new rabbit.The Kindy needs to name the newly arrived rabbit and so they posted the children's name suggestions for this new rabbit on the white board out on the Kindy porch. They made me smile - that is they made me have an internal giggle fit. Some of my favourites were (let me just preface this by saying that the Rabbit is a black female Rabbit)
- Batman - this one has my vote for sure.
- Venom - a definite superhero/villain theme going on here.
- Black - just Black - no Blacky/Blackie. Just Black. Imaginative.
- Rabbity.

I was sure Wombat had been responsible for suggesting "Batman", however Wombat instead proudly informed me that his suggestions for the new Rabbit's name had been Rabbity and/or Water.Random.

And then Chris' parents and Gma stopped by tonight for a short visit and I just had to share this little conversation.Mum had been exclaiming over a new snuggly toy Wombat had seated on the table whilst he studiously drew a picture of a Lion.
Mum: Where did you get that from?
Wombat: A Shop.
Me: Op shop/Sallies.
Wombat: Monk bought it for me.
Mum: It's VERY nice.
Me: It's in pretty good nick.
Wombat picked up his new dog snuggly and showed it off to his Grandma: It's a dog and his name is Blue, like on Blues Clues.
Mum: Oh? Why haven't you named him Rabbity?(
in a stating the obvious tone) Wombat: Cos he's a DOG.
(stifled giggles) Mum: Why not call him Doggie then?(
in an abrupt no nonsense tone) Wombat: His name is BLUE.

End of conversation.

May I interject....!

I overheard half a conversation about Chris and Marty's salmon fishing plans this morning.

Chris:I have some rods but I'm not really sure what they're for.....
"Fishing" I interjected.

My Wombatty Linguistical Tensai

I took Wombat to his obligatory before school well child check today - even though he has only RECENTLY turned 4 and will not actually be attending school until next year. Whilst in the playroom waiting to be seen Wombat played happily with the multiplicity of toys chattering away in seemingly random syllables which he announced was him "speaking Japanese". Don't be fooled though that these ARE random syllables - this boy listens carefully to his Mama when she speaks to him in Japanese and consistently uses syllables with vowel sounds consistent with those used in Japanese - he's also picked up the use of ne and no as end of sentence inflections and seems to understand that the former is similar to "eh?" and is used as a casual means of seeking confirmation/reassurance, whilst the latter indicates that the sentence is a question, and seems to be endeavouring to figure out other syntactical intricacies in general.
Near the end of our visit the Nurse who had asked Wombat to thread large beads onto a plastic cord (a subtle yet predictable test of fine motor skills) then asked him, "Do you think you could count these for me and tell me how many there are?"
I grinned inwardly - every Saturday Wombat counts his Grandma's pills for her - EAAAAASY - I thought. I didn't know the half of it!
Wombat began to point at each bead and count. He counted one through six without breaking a sweat. Then he stopped. He went back to the start. He pointed at each bead and this time coolly rattled off the colours like he was some expert interior decorator informing the Nurse of her optimum palette of Autumn colours "White, Orange, Purple, Black...."
The Nurse paused, "Oh. You're telling me the colours. Good. Nice."
Wombat stopped again. He pointed at the first bead again, and this, this was the cherry on top people.
"Uno, dos, tres...."
Well, he did get a little lost after that and needed some prompting from me but his pronunciation is pretty much faultless.

When I informed Chris of this his response was to laugh uncontrollably, exclaim," He DIDN'T?!?!!" and then remark "Show off."

Tensai da wa.

Will of STEEL

Sunday night over a game of Zaras I pointed out to Chris that we had managed so far to polish off 20. Yes TWENTY Afghans between the two of us. I then suggested that perhaps we should not have anymore. And then I said, "Just three more each...." and promptly loaded up the plate.

Will of STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL.

Both of us.

Wombat turns 4

The morning of the birthday....

Me: What day is it today Wombat?

Wombat: Tuesday!!

Me: Well, no....but what day is it today.....?

Wombat: Friday!!

...........

He's a smart one.

Dinner talk

Whilst sitting round at the dinner table the other night the conversation went thus:

Monk: Mum, have you ever broke any of your bones?

Me: No. NEVER.

Bear: What about your legs?

Exchanged looks with Monk. Copious hearty chuckling.

When I am a growed up ; )

Earlier today....

Me: Wombat, what are you going to be when you grow up and you're a big boy like your Daddy?

Wombat: A man.

Wombat is 3yrs old.

The End.

A miracle on the way home from school...

Driving home from school Monk turned to me and said:

"Mum - what year were you born?"

Me - "76."

Monk - "18 or 19?"

And there's your miracle! Approx. 3 hrs later and the boy is STILL alive.

I do not think it means what you think it mondegreens..... ; )

I had asked Wombat to ask Daddy to brush his teeth (it is one of the things that I have drilled into - or at least tried to drill into my boys and Wombat is now convinced that he is incapable of retiring to bed without first having his teeth brushed).

Chris was grumpy because he wanted the boys to hurry up and go to bed.

Wombat attempted to cower behind my legs as he said "Daddy is very angry and I am scared! I want you to come and brush my teeth!"

I walked through to the bathroom with Wombat and said, "Daddy is not angry - SEE, he is not angry. He is just tricking! He is a tricker!"

Wombat promptly attempted to mimic me and pointing at his Daddy exclaimed with gusto -

"You are a CHICKEN!!"

Especially for my mondegreen luvin' friend : )

Funnies at Church

I went looking for our youngest and walked back into the chapel proper just in time to hear an amusing story being told about Sally and Jonny - Sally and Jonny were siblings it seems who were visiting their grandparents. Sally just so happened to witness Jonny accidentally killing one of their grandparents' ducks. The boy was petrified and thinking the accident had gone unwitnessed hid the duck in the woodpile. For several weeks Sally held the dead duck over him - "volunteering" Jonny for her share of the chores - each time with a fierce reminder whisper "Remember the duck!"

After 2-3 weeks of this Jonny couldn't take it any longer and caved, confessing to their grandmother and apologising. She confessed that she had also seen the event unfold, had already forgiven him and was just curious to see how long he would allow his sister to use him as a slave.

"There are a few lessons we can learn from this story," the Sister who was sharing the story said.

Me to Chris: Extortion is EFFECTIVE!

Chris to Me: DON'T marry Sally!

Only I don't think that's quite what she was going for.

Hypothetical Doctor's visit

I have laryngitis.

BUT my throat is not sore - yay! I just have no voice - it is totally BEYOND Kathleen Turner or Carly Simons stage (showing my age!)

But I'm fine otherwise so I'm not planning on visiting the doctor. Why bother? I know what's wrong with me. I can't do anything about it. What can the doctor tell me that I don't already know? I'm not paying to be told what is CLEARLY obvious.

Here's how I imagine my hypothetical "conversation" (conversation is in " " because - hello - I have no voice!) going down with the Dr if I decided to throw away my money on a no brainer. (Go ahead and imagine me using a thickly sardonic tone or if not a tone - cos I have no voice - a thickly sardonic air about me)

Dr: You have Laryngitis.

Me: I figured that.

Dr: Your throat doesn't appear to be inflamed.

Me: REALLY??

Dr: You should try not to speak.

Me: With my kids??

Dr: You really need to rest your voice.

Me: No kidding.

Dr: Here's your bill for me telling you what was already blindingly obvious.

Me: Thanks for nothing. I could've bought a bunch of Skor bars with that.

Okaaaay, so that last Dr's comment was TOTALLY imagined. No Dr says that sort of thing - ALOUD - RIGHT???

O be wise...

Bear was playing Chess on the laptop against the computer when he exclaimed in complete surprise:

"He didn't take my pawn!"

(he of course, meaning the computer)

Me:"Who didn't?"

Bear: "The computer. He could've taken my pawn BUT he didn't!" (apparently incredulous)

Me: "Well, just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean it's always wise to. For instance, just because we can eat something, doesn't mean that it is wise to do so. Poison can be eaten. We can eat poison - but then it will kill us! Should we eat poison just because it can be eaten?"

Bear:"NO!" (emphatically)

Me: So just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should, see?"

Insight into the mind of The Monk

The other morning Wombat was unwell. BUT diligent - that 3yr old gorgeousness ran with great desperation from his room, through the free-flow lounge, dining area, through the kitchen, right through to the bathroom where he shrieked for a bucket all so he could be sick in it! Gem.

Later as we cuddled in "the big bed" I asked him. "Did you spew in your bed?"

Wombat: No.

Me: You're AWESOME.

Wombat: Yes I am.

However a few minutes later he power chucked all over himself, me, our pillows and some of the bed requiring that I strip the bed and shower myself and the wombat-ty cherub.

After seeing to all this cleaning, wiping and soaking - all before school I might add - The Monk expressed some frustration about when we might be heading out to school to drop off him and Bear.

I responded "Wellllll, what do you still have to do to get ready?"

Ever the charmer Monk responded "Uh, I need to poo in my pants."

Me (without so much as an eye twitch) "Well, you better get pooing then - you wouldn't want to hold us up!"

And that was THAT.

Polite ...to a fault.

Yesterday...

Wombat: You have a BIG bottom.

Me: THANKS (ripe with sarcasm)

Wombat: You're welcome.

Good thing he's cute.

That expectant look...

We were at Monk's soccer game Saturday morning and I was watching (and helping) Wombat and his friend clamber up and down a tree at the edge of the field. Wombat very quickly got the hang of climbing up and down on the lowest branch, yet soon the inevitable happened and slipping (from climbing down?), he fell the short distance to the ground landing on his back in the grass.

I scooped the crying Wombat up in my arms and attempted to ascertain where the injury(ies) were so that I could - in the regular motherly fashion - kiss them better. I thought that perhaps he had hit his head. But no.

It was soon immediately obvious what his main concern was - he stuck out his tongue, still crying, to reveal 2 or 3 little blood dots along one side and tearily said that he had bit his tongue (or at least that's what I think he said)

Then transfixing me with an expectant look, he continued to look at me steadily, with his tongue still protruding....waiting...

Yeaaaaah, NAH.

Dodgy.

I gave him a hug. And a pat. You'll get over it son.

Lightbulb moment

Bear: Mum, which is your towel and which is the bath mat?

Me: Well, that explains A LOT.