Wednesday, December 15, 2010

5 Little known facts about MOI

1. I started out my "acting career" as a dancing bunny in our Primary School Production of "Winnie the Pooh".
2. I worked for the Anglican Church one Summer - in the Christchurch Cathedral to be exact.
3. Will(iam) Mariner, whom Mariner's Cave in Tonga is named after, is my Great, Great, Great, Great Grandfather (give or take a "Great").
4. Somewhere in Taiwan there is an icecream poster(s) with me on it! (it was an SJS job)
5. Pink bikkies with hundreds and thousands were my FAV bikkies as a child.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

The big PC and the Santa Dilemma (not what you'd expect)

Well, ......this is going to be quite the different blog from what it was going to be. What was it going to be?
Well, friend recently posted on her blog about what I shall refer to as the Santa Dilemma. This whole idea that "lying" to our children about Santa - a fictional character, invented by Coca Cola for Commercial and Capitalistic gain, and "based" on a fairytale and lore embellished Saint Nick - will have such a drastic effect on their lives that it will cause them to lose all faith in us and consequently, potentially lose faith in their faith.
This was going to be a post all about how I considered this had all come about thanks to the large all-encompassing shadow of PC - namely Political Correctness - it's got everyone, particularly parents, running scared. It was going to mention how perfectly sound moral stories like Red Riding Hood have been irreparably and heinously ruined by the effects of PC - as in the instance where I saw a version that belonged to my niece, several years ago now, wherein Red and her Granny were rescued from the Wolf by the Woodsman (that much is the same at least) but instead of the Woodsman logically and realistically chasing off or killing the Wolf for their own safety - he is instead let go, albeit after a HARSH reprimand by the Woodsman. SERIOUSLY??
Well, it was going to be about that.
It was also going to be about such unbelievable things as iconic childrens' characters altered beyond belief such as Cookie Monster now eating fruits and veges and cookies only being a "sometimes" food. He is a COOKIE MONSTER. For goodness sake!
Also apparently The Count (also from Sesame St) no longer laughs after he counts - apparently it was too scary for some children so they cut that out. REALLLLLY??

Well, it was going to be about all of that. It was. And how I believed that Santa had just become really another victim of PC Paranoia. It was at least until I saw this picture - Bear and his class and the rest of the Junior School had a whole fun day out today as part of the 4th to last day of school. As part of this they went to Cadbury World and Bear had THIS picture taken with Santa. DODGY Santa I call him. Don't you think?

Bear and Dodgy Santa - look at that Dodgy look on his face!

Here are my comments as Fuzz perused the picture:
Me: That Santa looks DODGY!! DODGY Santa! What is that up with that DODGY Santa sitting next to OUR Bear with his hand near his BOTTOM! Look at that DODGY look on his face!! And is that a BED they're sitting on?!?!!!
Fuzz shakes with silent laughter as he peruses and I continue to comment.
Me: Do they do a CHECK on these Santas before they let them sit there ALL DAY and have pictures with LITTLE kids sitting on their knee?? I mean LOOK at him! DODGY Santa!

Seriously disturbing - NO child should have a Christmas where THIS Santa is included. If EVER there were a reason NOT to include Santa in Christmas this picture would be the CAMPAIGN POSTER!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

It's torches and pitchforks time...

I'll let the pictures and videos speak for themselves - but also add some info not shown in photo form:
Picked up several pieces of paper and plastic rubbish lying about the place, TWO picnic bar wrappers (boys allergic), a sneaker-boot and some kind of filth-streaked pikachu toy - just yesterday ALONE. When weeding along the fence line I found the roses and rose branches that one of the neighbours' daughters had specifically requested when she saw we were trimming and pruning - apparently just so she could change her mind and dump them back over the fence when we weren't looking.

Last week on Friday I discovered a giant orange safety cone - no doubt stolen from the DCC roadworks on Hillside Rd and carted about 3 or so blocks to our house, uphill (they're REALLY committed to being jerks it seems - good on them), and dumped behind our letterbox.

Today our recycling bin has "disappeared". It costs $12 to replace ORRRR I send the police round asking them to return our bin. Nice and friendly like. OR I call our friend at DCC Animal Control to come and take away their annoying dog - actually that would probably be more like rescuing the dog....

Did I mention that earlier this week, in a rather saint-like act of good will that I gave them ALL a ride to school when we ourselves were late AND their ride didn't show?

Anyway, I'm "mulling" over all of this I'm SO trying to imagine the "Going on a Bear Hunt" song but with "witch" substituted in instead of "Bear".

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I think I may just have done something that means that I have thoughtlessly robbed myself (and others in my family) of several weeks, nay months even, of rip-roaring amusement!!

Bear got sprayed in the weekend by his bottle of fizzy that someone had obviously given a good shaking (I feel this is a somewhat necessary precursor to the following story)

We were sitting at dinner and Bear picked up Monk's water bottle from the table. He proceeded to shake it fiercely. He then cautiously uncapped the top and peered gingerly through the hole - nothing. He re-capped the bottle and proceeded to shake the bottle vigorously again. Again he carefully opened the bottle top and peered expectantly inside - nothing. He repeated this process again and again - several times - each time with the same result. AND with me quietly bemused, watching the whole thing. Finally, I let him in on a little secret - "Bear - it's filled with water. NOTHING'S gonna happen."

Almost immediately afterwards I felt the first smarting pangs of regret - what had I done?? Weeks of entertainment, thrown carelessly and thoughlessly away.....!


SERIOUSLY though....

I'm not the only one who sees these and thinks "Adult nappy covers?" - right?? RIGHT?!?!?!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Christmas-y Highlights and Random Thoughts

Wombat hiding in the Christmas tree box and us pretending we can't see/find him.

Wombat's seal of approval (manic dancing) of a youtube selection of Boney M Christmas songs.

How cool would it be to have a Boney M Christmas album.

Chris informs me that our new Christmas tree has 872 tips (branches to be fluffed out) - correction 871 (one broke) - and that consequently the tree will have to stay out ALL. YEAR. ROUND.

Monk inquires whether we will be decorating tonight after we have put the tree up.
Chris further comments that he thinks it will take us FOUR days to put the new Christmas tree up - THREE of those will just be for putting the actual tree up : P

Before I even see the tree Monk comes and tells me (as I weed the garden's brick path) that the new tree is 6ft - that they could've got the 7ft tree but they got the 6ft tree.
Never one to miss out on an opportunity - as soon as we enter the lounge and I see the tree in its box - clearly barely taller than our tallest child - I immediately exclaim in mock outrage:
"Why, that tree's NOT 6ft!! It's barely even taller than YOU!"
My clever wit - clearly too clever for our children - completely lost on the children who insist that the tree is 6ft - pointing out to me on the box exactly where it says 6ft! My moment of comic brilliance lost.

Wish I hadn't neglected to recharge the camera batteries so I could have photographed Chris' frustration and annoyance at fluffing out 872/1 fake Christmas tree branches.

Bear decided he would impersonate a parrot with the broken Christmas tree branch. VERY convincing.

Feliz Navidad everyone!!

PS - I think Chris should be grateful they got the 6fter

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Oh the irony....!

"Stay out of the kitchen!!!!" I yell at the Wombat as I'm stooped over the floor picking up large pieces of a ceramic bowl he accidentally knocked to the floor - of course, as I am loudly warning my child to stay out of the kitchen or else he may be hurt or cut I manage to simultaneously slice the ring finger on my right hand. Of course.