Saturday, August 29, 2009

Fire ALL torpedoes!!!

A dear friend came to visit yesterday (family in tow). As they were preparing to leave after their visit her husband (also a friend - and the reason for me keeping their identities anon...) began the badgering. YOU guys should have FOUR. When's number FOUR coming? You should have a GIRL!
My calm response: I JUST only seem to be able to have boys. No girls.
The badgering continued...
Awwww, but you've just GOT to have a girl...why NOT?!
My response: The miscarriages I had between pregnancies were girls.
BOOM!!
We have a hit!!!

That shut him up : P

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A chat with Master Jonts

Yesterday evening I made a quick trip to the Supermarket with Jonts for milk and rice crackers. It is not a particularly usual occurrence for Jonty to accompany me on an outing and the following amusing conversation ensued. It went something like this:

I asked Jonts how school was/what they were learning about today. Jonts begins to tell me about (his interpretation bear in mind...) some guy who was trying to park his car and drove (or rather backed?) right into someone's house. I immediately realised just what incident he was talking about (because we drove past it just after the fact!), and said something like:
"Oh Jonts - I know what that was! That's right near our house. Someone drove their car right into someone's house. Don't you remember seeing?"
Jonts mumbles something hoping to reaffirm his previous comment about some guy just trying to park his car....I smile, amused.
"Jonts," I say," I reckon that guy who drove his car into that house must've been PRETTY drunk, eh?"
Jonts matter-of-factly replies, "Aw no, Mum. I think he was just pretending to be blind."

pffffffft! tee hee!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

You're kidding - RIGHT?!

http://www.etsy.com/alchemy/request.php?id=119281

Bahahahahhahahhahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Size MATTERS....

I was just reflecting on clothing sizes, in particular mine. Pre-children: 24 inch waist. Post children: (THREE of 'em) 28 inch waist. Not bad. In fact relatively speaking, I thought to myself, my waist is still quite small...relatively speaking...in comparison to certain other parts of me. Still quite small. Relatively. Then I found myself thinking HOWEVER....unfortunately it's really not one's waist that one has trouble fitting into clothing....rather those other particular parts....boo!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Oh wondrous Milo!!! (the drink people, the DRINK)

I was just sitting, thinking to myself today and the thought entered my mind..."I wonder if I could survive solely on Milo"...which reminded me of a Milo advert that came on the tv the other night...It was one of those celebratory Anniversary type adverts where the company raves about their glorious product and how it is made with all the bestest of the best ingredients and how it's wholesome goodness (complete with MSG, additives, preservatives and added colouring) have been looking after YOUR kids for a gazillion years - funny that, I thought I had something to do with the rearing of my children...anyway - one of those adverts - you know the ones. I sat there and I remember the deep resonating radio-type voice booming out from the television something along the lines of "Milo, made from the full wholesome goodness of Malt, has been providing health and energy for your children now for blah blah blah years"
Not missing a beat, I responded aloud, "And that is just the VERY reason why I have Milo, myself. EXACTLY that."

Somewhere in the background Chris snorted.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Interpretation, interpretation, interpretation!!

Dear circular distributors,

Just because I don't have a sign which clearly reads "NO CIRCULARS" (or other similarly worded signs) on my letterbox - would you believe that it DOESN'T actually mean that I would like at least THREE copies of EVERY circular that you have? No, not even close...

Signed Sincerely "Because I know you really care"
(prrrrrrrt!)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

A glimpse into Baby Joe's psyche...

Me: Hello my beautiful smelling baby (giving him a kiss)
(- please note, the following is my imagined response for Joe if he could speak - by "speak" I mean speak in coherrent, logical words and sentences instead of the nonsensical babble with which he currently "communicates" ....)
Joe: Hello my beautiful, wonderful Mummy who cleaned me and my highchair up in all my explosive poo nastiness. I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
Me: I KNOW. I am AWESOME.

...Well,....that's my interpretation anyway.....

Monday, August 10, 2009

Somethin' for nothin'.....

Question: What can I get for $2?
Response: a $2 stamp. But you'll have to pick it up.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

EXCELLENT

What is this you ask? Why it is some of last night's left over salad - match stick-ish slivers of carrot, cucumber and gherkin - side dish to an array of delicious roast chicken and roast vegetables (the standard - potatoes, kumara, pumpkin).
To the matter - Young Master Joseph, when presented with this sumptuous meal of roasted delights choose rather to down his entire salad portion in a matter of seconds. ALL OF IT. BEFORE eating anything else.

EXCELLENT.

I love you Joseph.

Presenting...


Our recent new contemporary art Lounge Feature, "created" by Michael





....with finishing touches by Joseph.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

In a pickle....

..."Scene opens".....
Brushing teeth in front of the mirror Sunday morning...seconds away from leaving for church - ON TIME even!...The toothbrush randomly escapes my mouth splattering the mirror with a smallish splattering of toothpaste...splatter...oh no...! I assess the situation...there is toothpaste splatter on the mirror...the mirror has SPLATTER on it! It needs cleaning....what to do....clean toothpaste splatter off mirror...? OR...... get to church on time....oooh-er....dilemma!