Thursday, June 11, 2009
Monday, June 8, 2009
So....here is my proposed plan to deter fence hopping intruders...
I propose we start up a friendly neighbourhood Mormon Book Club - we will diligently meet daily, suitably rugged up and set up under our bare plum tree conveniently right beside the collapsing fence. There will be a four week rotation - of the standard works. As "strangers" approach the fence (from either Glen Rd side - the more common, or Leckhampton Ct side) we shall all great them with unbridled enthusiasm, inviting them to join our delightful Book Club and offering a free copy of ...none other than...THE BOOK OF MORMON..!
What think ye - effective? Less effective? I would LOVE to hear your deterrant ideas. My thoughts are a Book Club would be eminently more economically prudent in the current economic climate than say building a new, impenetrable fence or buying a bloodthirsty dog trained to attack fence-hoppers....
What can I say? - just trying to do my part to help speed our Nation's economic recovery...
Scene: Night, outside our house, Mum and Dad are getting in their car after FHE.
Girl walks up our drive way in front of their car at the bottom of the drive.
Me: (forcedly and with fiercely pursed lips) HELLO!
Girl: (as if just now realising that other people are present) Oh hello... (continues walking)
Dad: Who is THAT?!!
Me: (Loudly in the hopes that the girl, who doesn't seem to realise that taking a short cut through strangers' yards is ODD and RUDE, will hear) Oh, just some RANDOM STRANGER using OUR property as a thoroughfare.
I should start charging a fee. Either that or tear down the current property separating fence and install a new one complete with prison style flood lights, sirens and weight triggered spikes...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
So yesterday I'm at the dental school for a...dental appointment...obviously...and I'm lying there in the chair while this senior dental student is injecting my gums full of "sleepy juice" - apparently this is what they tell school children it is called - and you know it does actually sound much better....
Anyway so I'm lying there half my face slowly going numb and (it's actually quite amazing just HOW uncomfortable being jabbed with a needle can still be even when completely numb...) and I get to thinking...I don't like having the dentist put needles in my mouth or rather I don't think I would like it if ANYBODY were to put needles in my mouth regardless of who they were. As the dentist injects my gum(s) my mind begins to fill with wild thoughts of paranoia - ahhhh! There is a needle in my mouth! AaaahhhHHHHHhhhh! What if in a sudden fit of lunacy she misses and jabs right through my cheek! AaahHHHhhhhh! Needles! Ahhh! SCARY!!! ...I also keep catching myself tensing - we're talking whole body tensing - and then trying, rather unsuccessfully, to reassure myself - it's ok, does this all the time, know's what she's doing- RELAX! - and then attempting to relax, then tensing...SO whilst I was in the midst of this jumbled and paranoid train of thought it suddenly dawned on me how ironic and ridiculous it was. I mean really - needle - not much potential damage can be caused with a needle really compared with a DRILL and yet - TOTALLY fine with drills in the mouth. Why is that? - I found myself thinking. HOW ridiculous is that?!
CrAZY logic I tell ya!