Monday, September 5, 2011

Hypothetical Doctor's visit

I have laryngitis.
BUT my throat is not sore - yay! I just have no voice - it is totally BEYOND Kathleen Turner or Carly Simons stage (showing my age!)

But I'm fine otherwise so I'm not planning on visiting the doctor. Why bother? I know what's wrong with me. I can't do anything about it. What can the doctor tell me that I don't already know? I'm not paying to be told what is CLEARLY obvious.

Here's how I imagine my hypothetical "conversation" (conversation is in " " because - hello - I have no voice!) going down with the Dr if I decided to throw away my money on a no brainer. (Go ahead and imagine me using a thickly sardonic tone or if not a tone - cos I have no voice - a thickly sardonic air about me)

Dr: You have Laryngitis.
Me: I figured that.
Dr: Your throat doesn't appear to be inflamed.
Dr: You should try not to speak.
Me: With my kids??
Dr: You really need to rest your voice.
Me: No kidding.
Dr: Here's your bill for me telling you what was already blindingly obvious.
Me: Thanks for nothing. I could've bought a bunch of Skor bars with that.

Okaaaay, so that last Dr's comment was TOTALLY imagined. No Dr says that sort of thing - ALOUD - RIGHT???