The Rocky terrain of Bake-offs.....

"Mount" Afghan - made by Mummy and Jonty.

Typically features crumbly choclate biscuit terrain - this hot fudge "volcanic" mount recently erupted covering said mount in molten hot fudge icing and skewed walnut debris... (voted "tops" by Afghan connoisseur, Bro. Taylor).

Dark Chocolate Fudge and Dark Chocolate Fudge with Roasted (and chopped) Hazelnuts - my own entry - Awarded "Best Cake" of all things for want of a better category - Mum's should have won - in my opinion - as hers was the only actual cake and has chocolate cream cheese icing to die for - SERIOUSLY!

What I'll probably have to eat for at least the next SIX or so months to make up for all of this....fudge anyone?

Umeboshi...Smoshi....

To whom it may concern,

Yes. We have a plum tree - you've probably noticed this on your multiple excursions through our property! -STOP PICKING OUR PLUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our plums are NOT actually sour plums - they're just not ripe yet!! QUIT PICKING THEM!!!!!

You're wasting perfectly good plums!!! DON'T!!!

Signed,

Me - owner of the house and land you're using as a public thoroughfare - guess what - it's NOT!!

Auwh...

"Auwh"... (dawning realisation sort of "Oh" sound)

This was Joseph's response when I stopped him from helping himself to his THIRD spiced Banana Muffin for the morning and pointed out that he hadn't actually eaten the previous one, but had in fact merely "broken it into a gazillion pieces and thrown it all over the floor" (my exact words).

"That's not eating," I further explained, as we looked at the broken up bits of muffin on the floor, "That's Cookie Monster 'eating'. That's cheating."

JonSTAR moment

Scene: I'm chatting on the phone with Kate. JonSTAR is being his usual raucous self. The raucous-ness gets too much. I halt the conversation temporarily.

Me: YOU! ("pinning him to the spot" from across the room with my pointed finger. I pick up a cushion) THIS cushion (pointing at the cushion). YOUR name on it!! (I then throw the cushion at him in a typically awkward girly fashion). STOP!!! (with accompanying glare, to be interpreted as 'STOP doing all that naughty stuff NOW, cos Mummy SAYS SO!').

Pause.

I continue my chat with Kate on the phone. Next thing you know JonSTAR has retrieved the thrown cushion from the floor and begins examining it intensely. Silence, while he thinks things over intensely then...

JonSTAR: Wait a minute!! This cushion doesn't have my name on it AT ALL!

Classic.

Chimpun Kampun (All Greek to me...)

...At least that's what it says in the MTC little red vocab notebook - Chimpun Kampun = it's all Greek to me!

Today I suspect I witnessed a similar real life moment of "crossed wires".

An elderly-ish asian woman was making her way slowly through the Supermarket on crutches. A well meaning young man - who I came to realise probably didn't know her AT ALL - was shadowing her and trying to "help her out".

I suspected she was Japanese and so asked -moshikashitara, Nihonjin desu ka?

She confirmed in a vague, non-committal way that makes me wonder if she was in fact "confirming".

Regardless of this, I definitely got the feeling that she was probably wondering who the heck this supposedly "helpful" guy was who was following her all through the Supermarket and that he was actual more of a jama then a help.

Yep, she definitely had a strong repressed "IIIIIII no!" vibe/funiki about her.

Kid's Logic

Jonsta asks if he can have an apple (after I remind that he has to ask and can't just take). Jonsta decides (barely seconds later) that he really doesn't want that apple any more. Solution: he throws the whole thing - uneaten - in the BIN! A WHOLE apple. WHO does that?!

One hit wonder's progeny....

Another enlightening and amusing snippet of conversation between Fuzz and I...

Scene: A Miley Cyrus music video comes on....

Me: Ah, Miley Cyrus eh? (looking on with Motherly disapproval at her "do those shorts even cover her BUTT??" shorts) I purse my lips and say - just how old is this girl?!

Pause

(Me again) More famous than her Dad though.

Fuzz: Who's her Dad?

Me: (fixing Chris with an "isn't it OBVIOUS?!" type glare) Miley...CY-RUSSSS....? Oh, come on....

Fuzz: Really? Billy Ray Cyrus?

Me: YES. He stars on her tv show "Hannah Montana".

Fuzz: Huh. (with an "oh really?" tone)

Me: Yup. Billy Ray Cyrus - one hit wonder (I explain to Michael what one hit wonder means) - wouldn't that be a bit frustrating don't you think? You have this hugely popular song - just ONE song and then everyone forgets about you - but then your daughter - super famous - what's up with that?!

Fuzz: Oh well, Billy Ray Cyrus could NEVER wear those shorts.

Me: Point taken.