This is HILARIOUS

It appears that the scammers have "upped" their game...now they insist that you comply with their "requests" on threat of FBI arrest and interrogation! HILARIOUS!!!

This from a fellow Etsyian from the Etsy Business Forum:

New email from those crazy dudes in Nigeria, this one threatening me with visits from FBI agents if I don't claim it to protect it from getting laundered... And it will only cost me $250 for being a Good Citizen and avoiding arrest :)

The email is a work of art in itself. Minus the misspellings, it could be a bestseller fiction beginning (hey, maybe I should do a spy novel using this letter as the base LOL).

I won't print it here, just want to say the letters are getting (funnier) MORE THREATENING, and if they knew USA law they would hang it up now...

Highlights:

"Contact the EFCC via Email with the information above immediately, once you contact them i will get back to you or else i will have an agent come visit you at home for questioning. Furthermore, be adviced that according to the United State Law together with the FBI rules and regulations, you are to obtain the document from the EFCC OF Lagos Nigeria where the fund was transfered from. Also Note that you are to take care of the cost of the Document, which will be issued in your name."


"The documents will clarify the intensity of this fund; exonerate it from money laundry, scam and terrorism. WARNING: failure to provide the above requirement in the next 24 hours, legal action will be taken immediately by arresting and detaining you as soon as international court of justice issues a warrant of arrest, if you are found guilty, you will be jailed!"

"We are charged with the responsibility of implementing legal norms and our authority is irrevocable so dont dare dispute our instruction, just act as instructed."

Oh my, I am so scared ;)

ORRRR

Read it here with all the resulting hilarious responses:

http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6507169&page=1

Oooooooh! I'm scared.

But really.

I never even open them. Just click "phishing scam" with great relish.

But even that's a bit yawn.

Is it bad of me...?

...to scoff...when I read the following statement:

"I'm a seamstress* so I know how much time it takes to create an item"

is it?

How can one in all seriousness compare what a knitter does to a seamstress? I mean REALLY. Knitter/Seamstress both may design and make clothing but a Knitter not only designs and makes and adjusts a pattern/design to custom fit to a person's specific measurements but they also MAKE the "material" they need to work with.

So no, if "you" as a Seamstress, presume to know how long it would take to make an "item" for a Knitter, I beg to differ.

/scoff

*italics added for emphasis

Moments to ponder...

I was just deliberating (ie. sulking) on the relative fruitlessness of vacuuming when you have children.

What's the point?

Reminiscing on Dear Friends

I happened to overhear part of a conversation tonight between Fuzz and Monk - I'm not sure how the conversation got round to them but I heard them talking about some dear friends of ours who lived in Dunedin for about a year and have probably been back home in Provo for about as long. Anyway next I hear Monk let out this big sigh and say:

"Ohhhh, I miss Sherry annnnnd........"

pause.

pause that develops into lengthy pause.

pause is now SO lengthy that it is BEYOND redemption.

Sorry Eric.

Jonts would've known.

This was followed by poor Monk being mercilessly teased by his parents (namely Fuzz and I) for forgetting Eric's name.

"Ohhhhhh I really miss Sherry and uh....whats-his-name.....!"

(this is our faultless Monk impression - good, no?)

Poor Monk. Not a chance.

Holiday fun!!

It's the school holidays and so for the past week and a bit my life has been full of interesting snippets such as this:

Morning - the two older boys are meant to be brushing their teeth. I hear screaming. I enter the bathroom to find that the younger is accusing the oldest of biting his hand. When questioned regarding this Monk finally replies -

"He was wasting water"

Certainly an effective way of stopping his brother, ....if not well thought through....

Did you know....?

...that when I get angry - REALLY angry - I speak in Japanese? Why?

1. It makes it blindingly clear that I'm REALLY angry.

2. I don't know any bad words in Japanese!!!

3. People don't understand what I'm saying.

4. I think my children react faster to it - you know - oooooh!! We better do what she says!

5. People get worried when you're obviously very angry and saying stuff about them in a language they don't know.

Just sayin'

1. You see "shortcut", I see drive-way, my drive-way - which incidentally I, myself that is, as well as other family and friends drive up and down on. Frequently. With our vehicles.

2. Just because there are No Parking signs on every other lamp post doesn't mean that you can park in between!

3. Attn: Turning traffic - you do not have right of way - give way to straight going traffic! Attn: Straight-going traffic - you have right of way! Don't give way to turning traffic!! Blare your horn at them (both hands if you like) , and bowl on through!

4. Just because as the produce department of a Supermarket you make a "special" effort to provide "exotic" fruit and vege for foreign locals don't think that you're doing them a favour catering to them and their tastes! It's not a favour if the produce you're providing is rotten, mouldering, old, dry and generally nasty rubbish - you're just buying rubbish and then trying to re-sell said rubbish - at a profit!

Just sayin'......

The BestEST lame excuse - to top EVEN the Best lame excuse. EVER

This morning I heard the children in the lounge watching tv. EARLY in the morning. I came through to find the boys, wrapped in their individual "blankies", lounging in chairs around the room.

Me: (In a stern voice) Boys, do you not remember what Daddy said would happen if you came out of your room....?

Monk: But I wasn't really here....

Ah yes. Sorry. Clearly it was your astral self.

BEST lame excuse. EVER.

Yesterday we heard screaming from the lounge. Fuzz ran to the lounge. It was Jonsta who was screaming. He informed Dad that his older brother Monk had BIT him on the shoulder to which Monk immediately replied:

"But I didn't mean to!"

The first EVER accidental shoulder biting incident methinks.

An eye for an eye....? OR....Communal living....?

This morning the Monkster accidentally kicked his rugby ball over the fence into the neighbour's property. Yes, those neighbours. Living in the "condemned" house. At first my moral compass kicked right in and I just told him tough - either ask for it back or suck it up. But then ...... I had a wee think to myself. I thought of ALL the times those people have come through and onto our property. Whenever they like to. Whether we are here or not. And I found myself thinking - Why shouldn't he just hop the fence and get it back himself?! - After all, when in Rome.....do as...RIGHT?! So I walk on outside and tell him to just hop the fence and go get it back himself. He was a bit anxious - they currently have THREE rather than their usual two annoying, yappy, constantly barking dogs. Also he tried to keep his brother and I quiet - worried that the neighbours would come out and discover what was going on.

Good old Mummy - I reassured him, saying, "Don't worry. If they give you a hard time just say - you come over to our place ALL THE TIME. I thought it was reciprocal."

(I also had a moment of genius this morning where I thought of the idea to suggest to the neighbours that we should just scrap this whole idea of new/mending fences and get rid of the fences all together! What with them passing through constantly, disposing of their rubbish/junk and coming over and moving stuff - practically a commune already - right?! This would be done in the hopes that the mere suggestion of such an idea would fill them with inexpressible horror - as the mere thought does for me!)

Healthy eating Utopia!

Tonight I did some "MacGyver"-style cooking with some left over slow-cooked venison - ended up with this delicioso layered Roti, Venison, Vege and Cream Cheese "pie"....er,...thingee... (see below).

Monk and I had the following conversation as we consumed this sumptuous dish:

Monk: I wish the whole world was made of broccoli....so then we could eat it!

Me: Yes

Monk: Annnnnnd it would be cool if, after we finished eating our dinner (read broccoli here), our plates and knives and forks and spoons turned to broccoli so we could eat them too!

Me: Yes. Broccoli. And cream cheese. We need our dairy.