Holiday fun!!

It's the school holidays and so for the past week and a bit my life has been full of interesting snippets such as this:

Morning - the two older boys are meant to be brushing their teeth. I hear screaming. I enter the bathroom to find that the younger is accusing the oldest of biting his hand. When questioned regarding this Monk finally replies -

"He was wasting water"

Certainly an effective way of stopping his brother, ....if not well thought through....

Did you know....?

...that when I get angry - REALLY angry - I speak in Japanese? Why?

1. It makes it blindingly clear that I'm REALLY angry.

2. I don't know any bad words in Japanese!!!

3. People don't understand what I'm saying.

4. I think my children react faster to it - you know - oooooh!! We better do what she says!

5. People get worried when you're obviously very angry and saying stuff about them in a language they don't know.

Just sayin'

1. You see "shortcut", I see drive-way, my drive-way - which incidentally I, myself that is, as well as other family and friends drive up and down on. Frequently. With our vehicles.

2. Just because there are No Parking signs on every other lamp post doesn't mean that you can park in between!

3. Attn: Turning traffic - you do not have right of way - give way to straight going traffic! Attn: Straight-going traffic - you have right of way! Don't give way to turning traffic!! Blare your horn at them (both hands if you like) , and bowl on through!

4. Just because as the produce department of a Supermarket you make a "special" effort to provide "exotic" fruit and vege for foreign locals don't think that you're doing them a favour catering to them and their tastes! It's not a favour if the produce you're providing is rotten, mouldering, old, dry and generally nasty rubbish - you're just buying rubbish and then trying to re-sell said rubbish - at a profit!

Just sayin'......

The BestEST lame excuse - to top EVEN the Best lame excuse. EVER

This morning I heard the children in the lounge watching tv. EARLY in the morning. I came through to find the boys, wrapped in their individual "blankies", lounging in chairs around the room.

Me: (In a stern voice) Boys, do you not remember what Daddy said would happen if you came out of your room....?

Monk: But I wasn't really here....

Ah yes. Sorry. Clearly it was your astral self.

BEST lame excuse. EVER.

Yesterday we heard screaming from the lounge. Fuzz ran to the lounge. It was Jonsta who was screaming. He informed Dad that his older brother Monk had BIT him on the shoulder to which Monk immediately replied:

"But I didn't mean to!"

The first EVER accidental shoulder biting incident methinks.

An eye for an eye....? OR....Communal living....?

This morning the Monkster accidentally kicked his rugby ball over the fence into the neighbour's property. Yes, those neighbours. Living in the "condemned" house. At first my moral compass kicked right in and I just told him tough - either ask for it back or suck it up. But then ...... I had a wee think to myself. I thought of ALL the times those people have come through and onto our property. Whenever they like to. Whether we are here or not. And I found myself thinking - Why shouldn't he just hop the fence and get it back himself?! - After all, when in Rome.....do as...RIGHT?! So I walk on outside and tell him to just hop the fence and go get it back himself. He was a bit anxious - they currently have THREE rather than their usual two annoying, yappy, constantly barking dogs. Also he tried to keep his brother and I quiet - worried that the neighbours would come out and discover what was going on.

Good old Mummy - I reassured him, saying, "Don't worry. If they give you a hard time just say - you come over to our place ALL THE TIME. I thought it was reciprocal."

(I also had a moment of genius this morning where I thought of the idea to suggest to the neighbours that we should just scrap this whole idea of new/mending fences and get rid of the fences all together! What with them passing through constantly, disposing of their rubbish/junk and coming over and moving stuff - practically a commune already - right?! This would be done in the hopes that the mere suggestion of such an idea would fill them with inexpressible horror - as the mere thought does for me!)

Healthy eating Utopia!

Tonight I did some "MacGyver"-style cooking with some left over slow-cooked venison - ended up with this delicioso layered Roti, Venison, Vege and Cream Cheese "pie"....er,...thingee... (see below).

Monk and I had the following conversation as we consumed this sumptuous dish:

Monk: I wish the whole world was made of broccoli....so then we could eat it!

Me: Yes

Monk: Annnnnnd it would be cool if, after we finished eating our dinner (read broccoli here), our plates and knives and forks and spoons turned to broccoli so we could eat them too!

Me: Yes. Broccoli. And cream cheese. We need our dairy.