Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Fun with Neon.....

I Really, REAL-ly, REALLY...want to put up a big sign out front of the Centre city mall - by the speed bump - you know - the SPEED BUMP - the one everyone seems to think is a pedestrian crossing for some reason. REALLY. It's NOT a pedestrian crossing. It's a S-P-E-E-D B-U-M-P. Designed and intended to SLOW motorists down. That is WHY motorists (hopefully) slow down when approaching it - NOT because it is a pedestrian crossing and they're inviting to you toddle across in front of them - no. Rather because it is a SPEED BUMP. Say it with me. S-P-E-E-D B-U-M-P - annnnnnd IF a motorist was foolish enough to go over it at speed they would likely put their head through the roof of their  car or feel like their head TRIED to do that without success. 
        Getting back to my sign. It would be imposing. Demanding attention. Not easy to forget or overlook. It would state clearly in no uncertain terms that this particular section of road was a SPEED BUMP. Not a pedestrian crossing. Please don't think of it or use it henceforth as such. It is a SPEED BUMP. Do not expect motorists to stop. Do not glare at motorists who do not stop. Do not stare shocked and reprovingly at me as I drive past failing to stop for you because it is NOT a pedestrian crossing but a SPEED BUMP. A SPEED BUMP.
         Hints that it's NOT a pedestrian crossing. Signs, lack thereof - road signs - slow down pedestrian crossing ahead and the like. Road markings, nonexistence thereof - the known symbols for pedestrian crossings on roads warning motorists that a crossing is ahead. The crossing itself - painted zebra crossing "stripes" typical of a .... pedestrian crossing - just not there. Those stripey poles with the ball shaped lamps on top - nope, not there.
        Hints that it's a SPEED BUMP. Different colour from rest of the road - tick! Road is raised in a ....wouldn't you know...BUMP! - tick again! Crissy-crossy speed bump lines - tick tick! The fact that it's NOT a pedestrian crossing - tick times infinity.

Guess there's just only one last concern to deal with - would Neon be more effective?

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