GUTTED

I think I may just have done something that means that I have thoughtlessly robbed myself (and others in my family) of several weeks, nay months even, of rip-roaring amusement!!

Bear got sprayed in the weekend by his bottle of fizzy that someone had obviously given a good shaking (I feel this is a somewhat necessary precursor to the following story)

We were sitting at dinner and Bear picked up Monk's water bottle from the table. He proceeded to shake it fiercely. He then cautiously uncapped the top and peered gingerly through the hole - nothing. He re-capped the bottle and proceeded to shake the bottle vigorously again. Again he carefully opened the bottle top and peered expectantly inside - nothing. He repeated this process again and again - several times - each time with the same result. AND with me quietly bemused, watching the whole thing. Finally, I let him in on a little secret - "Bear - it's filled with water. NOTHING'S gonna happen."

Almost immediately afterwards I felt the first smarting pangs of regret - what had I done?? Weeks of entertainment, thrown carelessly and thoughlessly away.....!

DARN.

BEST response to telemarketer.EVER.

Telemarketer: Hello Mrs (mispronounces name)

Me: Hello - that's Mrs (corrects mispronunciation)

Telemarketer: Oh, I'm so sorry (slightly flustered). This is (name)* from (Electricity company's name)*. We're lowering electricity prices here and were wondering which electricity supplier you're currently with...?

Me: We're with YOU guys! Just recently changed. We're. with. YOU!

Telemarketer: OH.

*Names have been left out to protect caller and company respresented by said caller from HUMILIATING "Die in dirty underwear" EMBARASSMENT.