This woman is CRAZY

These were my exact immediate thoughts as I read a "Dear Neighbor" letter from a woman sharing her concern (read: whiny complaints) about noise pollution from the nearby motorway - namely some development on the motorway that the City Council has planned.

A little background about the area where we live:

1. We are right near a MAIN road.

2. Over the main road is the MOTORWAY overbridge.

3. Next to the motorway overbridge are not one but TWO RAIL overbridges - you know, that TRAINS frequently travel back and forth on.

4. Behind all these overbridges AND the main road is a street (practically across the road) that houses CARISBROOK aka The BROOK - Dunedin's current main venue/stadium for all National and International Sporting events, Concerts and so forth.

(here I should also mention that the woman in question resides on the aforementioned MAIN road).

Does this woman even LIVE at her house?!

(said with a tone to mirror Guy's "Do you guys even READ the script?!?" from Galaxy Quest)

As I see it, this woman has two options:

1. Get over it.

OR

2. MOVE!!

Clearly INSANE.

PS - Not to mention this woman spelt Neighbour without a u (hence the italics above).

- Does this woman even LIVE in this country?!? (said like Guy, ....AGAIN)

She's a Maniac, MA-NI-ACCCCC....

(I'm singing this aloud you realise......okaaaay, only in my head)

SO after a morning of cleaning up a kitchen milk bath/milk tidal wave that got into, onto, over and through (not in any particular order) the stove top, down the side of the stove, down the side of several cupboards and several bench tops, IN the toaster, over, in and on the microwave, all over the floor, AND vacuuming and wiping up sugar spillage that was quite possibly caused by the sugar equivalent of a "lolly scramble". Quite. ANNNNND stripping, cleaning and dressing a certain milk soaked toddler. Yelling and screaming at older siblings who somehow missed all this. Rigging the tv not to work by turning it off with the remote button, turning it off manually, turning off the switch and also pulling a couple of random cords and switching off the video machine. After a morning of getting cheek and such delightful comments from the oldest of the minions like "Got any more?!" After FINALLY despite all this, somehow managing to regain some semblance of normality, order and tidiness and being able to shower and dress with lightening speed only to find that my darlings had thought this would be the perfect time to watch a MOVIE. YES. A MOVIE!!!! ANNNND break off the glass door of the video cabinet in their efforts to do so. After fiddling with said glass door with much difficulty and with a reassuring constant commentary of "that's not gonna work" and "that DOESN'T work" and "NOPE. Tried that" and managing to get the door reattached. After ALL OF THIS.....I've come to the conclusion that somehow convincing my three angels that I am indeed CRAZY, a Maniac even, would be a good thing. A stroke of brilliance. Yep. This is what I need to do - thoroughly convince them that I am completely crazy, potential psychotic tendencies and all. Do this and surely they'll be so petrified of me and what I might do that there'll be no chance of milk tidal waves in the kitchen or the like AGAIN. EVER.

PS - next time Monk buries a knife halfway up the handle deep in the Marmite I am so making him lick that baby clean. YUP.